


Homewrecking 101

by foxy_mulder



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, In which troy and abed relationship is very stable and theyre bad at social cues, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:34:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25246966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxy_mulder/pseuds/foxy_mulder
Summary: When Troy refuses to join his school, the vice dean knows he can’t simply give up- he hatches a plan to remove the primary obstacle keeping Troy from his destiny in A/C repair.He's going to break up Troy and Abed, once and for all.
Relationships: Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 16
Kudos: 147





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Starts in s3, Troy hasn't agreed to join the A/C school and Robert Laybourne (John Goodman) is still the vice dean.
> 
> This plot idea came to me on my 100000th rewatch: the vice dean keeps trying to break Trobed up like in s3e14 so troy will join the ac school, but it keeps backfiring and making their relationship even stronger on accident, so hes inadvertently responsible for every major event in their relationship (first kiss, proposal, etc)

"Why did they put the cute puppy on the cover if he was gonna die, it doesn't make any sense," Troy sobs into Abed's pajama shirt. 

He hates _Marley and Me._ He is never going to watch a dog movie ever again. Why did they decide to watch that tonight instead of Kickpuncher? Dogs don't die in Kickpuncher. 

“Shh, it’s okay. It's okay,” Abed deadpans. He pauses. “Is that improving your mood, or would you prefer some other common phrases of comfort?" 

It kind of is helping, actually. When Abed says things are okay, it's usually true, and it makes Troy feel okayer too. Or maybe it's how Abed has him cradled against his side, warm and bony. 

Abed doesn’t seem like a cuddly person when you look at him. He isn't, with anyone who isn't Troy. But with Troy, he holds him all the time, especially when Troy gets like this, which is pretty often. After years of friendship he’s got Troy's crying triggers memorized and Troy doesn't even have to start before he’s pulled into a cuddle. Abed is good at it. He’s good at holding Troy like he's a baby, or.. Or a fluffy puppy just like Marley, and _oh god, Marley is dead._

He clutches at Abed's shirt, snuggling closer and making a noise of distress as the tears start anew. He needs common phrases of comfort. 

“Can you say ‘Dogs don't really die in real life and it's just TV?” 

“Dogs don't really die in real life and it's just TV,” Abed parrots. 

“And- and say,” his lip quivers because Marley got old and was so _sick_ and it was so _sad._ “‘I've got you, Troy.’” 

“I've got you, Troy.” 

Abeds hand rests on the back of his neck. He has big hands. It's nice. Abed doesn’t coo over him the way Annie does. Jeff says Abed has no bedside manner, but Troy likes Abed's calm solidness, the way he can say dogs don't really die and have it sound true. 

“I'm gonna go to the bathroom for a sec and wash my face," he says, and Abed lifts his arm to let him up. 

In the bathroom, he turns on the tap to splash water on his face. As he inspects his red eyes in the mirror, a flicker of movement catches his eye. 

He turns, wielding the soap and ready to spray it into the intruder's eyes. Standing there by the toilet is... 

“Vice Dean Laybourne?” 

“Troy,” booms the Vice Dean. “You’re crying, I see.” 

“No I’m not,” he sniffles, wiping ineffectively at his eyes. 

“Don’t be ashamed. We all cry when things don't make sense,” he says imperiously, stepping closer to loom over Troy where he is backed against the sink. “Puppies die, war ravages the world, chaos dominates. But the world _can_ make sense." 

"Wh-what are you saying?" His heart races. 

"When you take the cover off an A/C unit and look at the inside, you're a god looking down on your own little world. Tell me Troy, when’s the last time you felt that kind of power? The power over life itself?” 

Power over life itself. If he wielded that, he could bring every puppy back to life. His eyes widen, head swirling with the possibilities. 

"Wait." He shakes his head. That makes no sense. "Air conditioning units have nothing to do with any of that stuff." 

"Oh, but they do," the vice dean says mystically. Troy shivers, and then he realizes the window is open, letting cold air in. Because this guy totally just broke into their apartment. Troy fixes him with a look of disbelief. 

"What are you doing here, dude? I already said I'm not gonna join the A/C repair school." 

"You wouldn't join because you wanted to watch TV... with _him,_ yes?" He nods toward the door, behind which Abed is probably choosing another movie and reading the plot summary to ensure a lack of canine death. 

"So?" Obviously he wants to watch TV instead of joining a cult for boxes that make rooms cold. If it was a normal school he would consider it, but a degree just isn't worth not seeing his friends. 

"So…" the vice dean stares, like he's waiting for Troy to realize something obvious that he isn’t realizing. He sees this expression pretty often, usually on Jeff. Troy continues to not get the point. “Abed can't give you what I can.” 

Now _that_ doesn't make sense. 

"That's stupid." He can't help but laugh. "Dude, _you_ can’t give me what _Abed_ does. You look like you give bad hugs, first of all." 

Abed chooses that moment to knock on the door, and Troy jumps a foot in the air. 

"H-hey Abed, you startled me," he calls to the door, miming at the vice dean to zip it. 

"In my defense, it's been ten minutes, so it's socially acceptable to knock now. Are you talking to yourself in there?" 

"Yep. I'll be out in a minute." He gestures wildly at the open window, so the vice dean will leave before Abed finds out he broke in. Because Abed will undoubtedly tell Annie, who will freak out and make them install locks on the windows, and then Abed won't be able to get in when he's being Batman on the ledge and it'll be a disaster and they'll take the locks back off and the cycle will start all over. He knows because that's what happened at Christmas. 

Vice dean Laybourne must get the hint, because he leans in and speaks, low and mysterious, into Troy's ear. "I'll let myself out. But this isn't over. Think about what you value more- Abed's _hugs,_ or a career that will make you richer and more powerful than you can imagine." 

Troy scoots away uncomfortably. Vice dean Laybourne purses his lips. "Can you turn away while I crawl out the window? I'm-" 

"-going through some stuff. Got it." 

When he's gone, Troy closes the window behind him. He has no idea what _that_ conversation was supposed to be. 

Abed stands waiting in the hall with a DVD in hand. 

"Marmaduke. The dog lives." 

Troy grins and they head back to the fort to watch the film. There's popcorn and special drink left from before, so there is no need to leave Abed's embrace or miss a scene to get refills. 

He thinks about what the vice dean said, about what he values. Logically, he should probably be worried about getting a good job in the future. Logically, two years of not seeing his friends isn't that long. 

But some things aren't logical, he thinks, as Abed's arm loops over his shoulder to cuddle, even though Troy isn't crying anymore. Maybe in Troy's world, hugs are better than a career. He has time to decide later. For now he rests his head on Abed's shoulder, and the light from the TV washes over him like a blanket. 

Abed’s right, the dog lives.


	2. Chapter 2

Troy figured the InspectiCon would be the highlight of his year. But as it turns out, it's been more like one of those yellow highlights that get dirty from writing over blue ink and end up all smudged, and it just sucks? This whole thing sucks pretty much like that. 

Abed and his new friend _Toby_ are looking at a display of time heaters and space pieces, Toby's hand dangerously close to Abed’s, like he's gonna try to hold his hand. Like the two of _them_ are best friends. As if. Abed already has a best friend, but Toby seems to think that's up for debate. 

What does Toby have that Troy doesn't? Besides being British and having tickets to all the sold out forums at the con and being probably really versed on the Inspector Spacetime lore? 

Okay, maybe it answers itself. 

_What if Abed figures out Toby is way better than Troy and swaps them out,_ Troy wonders, heart sinking. 

But Abed has never acted like he needed any of that stuff from Troy. It’s always been fine with just the two of them. And the rest of the study group, who Troy is pretty sure wouldn’t approve of Toby. But they wouldn't have to, would they, because Toby wants to take Abed to the United Kingdom away from everybody, and that's cooler than the United States because _Kingdoms have knights and dragons and-_

"You're holding that pizza like someone's gonna snatch it out of your hand," says Britta. "That's what Freud calls _subliminal massaging._ " 

Troy snaps back to reality, where he is having lunch with Britta, and he feels bad for thinking about Abed. 

Looking down, she’s right. He is clutching his pizza pretty hard. 

"Oh," he says. 

"Do you need me to be your subliminal masseuse?" she asks sympathetically. "Go talk to him about it. Sometimes he doesn't realize how he's affecting other people. And if he really does leave and live in the UK with Toby, then-" 

Troy's chair squeaks against the floor as he stands. He can't have this conversation anymore. 

A hand pats him on the back as a shadow falls over the table. 

"Britta, I need to speak to Troy alone for a moment," booms a familiar voice. Laybourne. 

Britta squints suspiciously. "Friend of yours?" 

"Something like that." 

“Walk with me," the vice dean says imperiously. 

They walk. Is it weird that this is a relief? He's here to try and talk Troy into joining his cult again, or possibly kidnap him, or whatever. But at least it’ll get his mind off this thing with Abed- 

"Looks like Abed is getting really close with that Toby guy," Laybourne says. 

-Or not. 

"He's probably just..." Troy trails off. He shouldn't be upset that Abed has another friend besides him. And it's not really the vice dean's business. 

"Remember what I told you before, about Inspector Spacetime and Reggie?" 

Troy remembers. And he remembers the whole fiasco war that ensued, the biggest fight he and Abed have ever had, ever. He remembers laying in the fort at night thinking about all the times Abed has told him what to do, and he just went along with it, like a loyal sidekick who doesn't get to have an opinion. 

That may have torn him and Abed apart for the duration of their war, and maybe those were literally the worst few days ever, but that doesn't make what the vice dean said untrue. Troy is a sidekick, he’s always been the sidekick. But with Toby here he isn't sure what he is. 

"I remember," he intones, thinking. 

"You can do better than being a sidekick, can't you?" 

He's right. He really is. 

Abed is slipping away before Troy's very eyes, and if Toby is gonna be Abed’s new sidekick, the only option is to be… not a sidekick. To be something else. He’s gonna have to take the initiative, for once, and do what _he_ wants to do, damn the consequences. That's what they do in action movies, anyway. 

“You know what? You're right," Troy says as a plan forms in his head. 

"Excellent. Let Abed and Toby run off together and you can join the-" 

"I’m gonna take initiative!" 

“Wonderful… Wait, what do you mean by-" 

"Be right back," Troy says, more confident than he feels. He calls out to Britta, apologetic. "Britta, I'm sorry, I-" 

She shakes her head like she already knows what he has to say. "It's okay. I understand. Go to him." 

"Are you sure?" She is so nice. He feels bad about this. But he's also pretty sure he isn't her type, deep down, and if this works like he wants, they won't sleep together ever again. 

"I've told you before," she breathes. "I don't care about Inspector Spacetime," and he knows she's talking about more than just the gluon photo. Troy gives her a thumbs up and nods seriously. 

“Troy I wasn’t done talking to you!” yells the vice dean, but Troy doesn’t have time to talk. He strides off in a hopefully cool looking way until he knows they can't see him, and then breaks into a run. 

  
Toby is suspiciously alone when Troy finds him. 

"Toby. Where's Abed?" 

"He's packing," says the jerk. "He said you have a girlfriend and don't need him anymore. He's coming with me to England." 

For a second, Troy believes it. Only for a second. Because he knows Abed and that's just not how Abed would do it. He wouldn't leave without saying goodbye. He wouldn't leave it all, because he's really bad at handling change and he likes Troy more than some guy he met online and has only known for a day. 

"You're lying." Troy's voice hardens. 

"How would you know?" 

"Because Abed's my friend, and he would have told me. And he would have explained it to me in very clear terms, because I get confused sometimes," he says coldly. 

Troy takes in the call boxes around him, and remembers what Abed told him that one night, about lockers and how he knows from experience that skinny people fold into them extraordinarily easily. "He's in there, isn't he?" 

"No," Toby laughs, high and nervous. 

"Hey, Troy," drones a voice from the call box. 

"Hey, Abed." So Toby isn't so special after all. He's not a sidekick or a best friend or anything, he's just like every other asshole who put Abed in a locker. Troy turns back to the little shitbag and speaks quietly. "Toby, have you ever been in a fight? Because I have." 

He makes a fist, and Toby pales. Good. He should be scared. Or maybe he shouldn't, because Troy isn't that great at fighting, but Toby doesn't need to know that. 

"Oh, my God. He can make a fist. That would hurt harder than a slap," Toby mutters to himself. "He's in that one," he squeaks and runs away. 

"I knew that," Troy rolls his eyes. Hopefully Abed is okay. Troy's only been gone a few hours but he knows Abed doesn't always do well in tight spaces, and he might have been scared. Troy would have been. If Toby wasn't so bad at lying, and if he hadn't put Abed in such an obvious spot, this situation would have sucked a lot more. 

Troy swings the door open and there is Abed, who is looking at him with something like reverence. 

"Hey Abed," he breathes, even though he just said that. They're standing really close, now that he thinks about it. 

"Troy." He blinks. 

Troy's eyes flicker to his lips. 

"Abed,” he says again. He’s rapidly losing his nerve, he needs to do this. 

"You said that already. Twice." 

"I- I know." 

"Are you doing a bit? I don't recognize it." 

"No, I just…” He shrugs. “If this was a movie, this would be the...” he trails off. He was so ready to do this just a second ago, but now he can feel Abed's breath and see the line of his jaw, and it's real and it matters a lot more than making a fist at Toby. 

Abed tilts his head, considering. His eyes never leave Troy’s face, big dark pupils searing into him like he can read minds or something. 

“You want to kiss,” Abed asks, but it’s more like a statement. Abed leans closer, and they're only inches apart. Or, as Inspector Spacetime would say, seconds apart. “Cool.” 

"Not like a movie though. Like for real." 

"Also cool." Troy can still feel his breath and it smells like the powdered donuts from this morning and _how is he still breathing,_ because Troy decidedly _isn't._

Troys hands ball into sweaty fists at his side as he leans in the last inch for a quick peck on the lips, all he has the nerve for. 

"Commit to it!" Calls a voice that sounds suspiciously like Britta. 

Abed raises a brow. Troy takes him by the shoulders and kisses him, for real this time. With tongue, right in the middle of the con, and he realizes abruptly that everybody in the world is gonna know, and that's exactly how he wants it. He leans back and Abed's lips are shiny. It's a good look. He wants to kiss some more right now. 

Britta and the vice dean stand there, watching like creeps. Britta wears an ecstatic smile, while the vice dean looks like he swallowed a lemon. Even though lemons don't fit down people's throats, so that saying has never made sense to Troy. 

He pats the vice dean on the shoulder. "I really can't thank you enough for the advice. If it wasn't for you I'd have never had the courage to go do that." 

“It’s no problem,” the vice dean grits out, through a smile that looks more like a grimace. "Glad it all worked out." 

" _He_ advised you to come get me?" Abed says, giving the vice dean a long, calculating look. "Interesting." 

Troy doesn't see why it's interesting, really. Vice dean Laybourne must be finally coming around to the idea that Troy isnt gonna do A/C repair. He didn't mention it even once. Maybe this is his way of showing his support for Troy's non-A/C lifestyle. 

The awkward silence stretches as Abed and the vice dean stare at each other, having a silent conversation. They look like they're about to kill each other or something. Troy clears his throat. 

"...Hey Abed, you wanna take the gluon photo now?" 

Abed nods. 

"Troy and Abed are now daaaating," they intone together. Troy takes his hand, and they're off to take an overpriced photo of them poorly photoshopped together. 

The photo hangs on their mantle for years. 

  



	3. Chapter 3

Abed is screaming, shrill and panicked as he sees the clock. 

They rush to action. Annie inserts herself in front of the clock, blocking his line of sight. Troy sets a blanket over him which usually helps. 

He gets like this sometimes, like when the Cape left TV. Or when the rules to board games don't make sense, or when the electricity makes high pitched noises no one but Abed can hear. They deal with it, when it’s something fixable, like how the light fixture used to be too bright and they changed the bulbs. But sometimes there’s stuff that they can’t fix, and they just have to handle the fallout. 

Daylight Savings does it every year. He and Annie marked it on the calendar, even, so they'd know to keep their schedules clear for the inevitable meltdown. 

Annie comes tentatively into the room and sets a bowl of buttered noodles on the couch beside him. 

“Abed?” she says softly. “Your noodles are done.” 

Abed flails, knocking the bowl across the floor with a clatter, spilling noodles across the floor.\, and goes still. Annie takes his and and guides him into the living room so he can sit more comfortably in the blanket fort. 

Troy stays in the bedroom, and gets to his knees and starts picking up bits of noodle from the carpet. A shadow falls over him. He doesnt have to turn to know who it is. 

“Laybourne,” he says, because he’s heard that saying someones last name is more distinguished than saying their first name, and now that he’s of drinking age and all, it makes sense for him to start doing that. 

“Troy Barnes,” he says, gazing judgmentally at the noodly carpet. "Cleaning noodles?” 

“Yeah, Abed’s having special time.” 

“That must be a real pain to deal with." 

"I guess." He shrugs. Cleaning the carpet is basically always a pain. Getting white carpet was a huge mistake, and they're paying for it. The butter from the noodles soaks in too fast to clean it out right. The floor is already covered in butter stains where they've spilled popcorn on various other occasions, so it’s no biggie. Troy stands, preparing to get a dustpan from the kitchen to collect the noodles. 

Vice dean Laybourne blocks his path, looming… loomingly. 

"Maybe you should consider a different path. One that's less of a burden on you." 

There is another path to the kitchen, but it has carpet too, which is arguably even more stained than this one. 

Maybe they do need new carpet. 

"You’re right,” he shrugs. 

“I- am?” Laybourne looks taken aback. 

“Sure. but I can’t really do anything about it ‘til the lease is up. I'm stuck with this til then." 

Then again, Abed’s dad has been offering to help them pay for an actual house. Hes been pretty insistent, and the only reason they haven't accepted is because its conditional- they have to be engaged beforehand. 

Abed’s dad loves Troy, so he’s always doing stuff like that to try and "lock him down." Gobi is really cool, but what he doesn’t seem to realize is that Troy is already pretty much in this thing for life. Married or not, house money or not. 

Still, Troy and Abed could use some house money, because Abed is definitely gonna have crazy expensive ideas about how a wedding would pan out, and because they need things for a house. Like, soap and stuff. Condoms. Noodles and butter. Et cetera. 

Maybe it's time- maybe not to actually get engaged yet, but to start thinking about it. And he already has a ring, he’s had it for months. He won’t do it today, or even soon, but it’s...time to think about it. 

“I didn’t expect you to actually agree,” says the vice dean. “That’s fantastic, Troy. I trust I’ll see you as soon as the lease ends.” He claps Troy on the back and crawls out the window. 

“Huh.” Troy retrieves the dustpan and carries the noodles to the trash, feeling somehow that the two of them have just had two different conversations. Or maybe Laybourne is just crazy? 

Maybe Abed has calmed down some by now. Maybe he wants to snuggle, and then later when he’s in a more receptive mood, Troy can bring it up gently, ask if he eventually wants Troy to propose or if he was going to do it first, or what. 

If Abed is in that mood where he doesn’t want to snuggle, and just wants to play Pac Man silently for six to eight hours, they’ll do that instead. It’ll give Troy time to think, and he has a lot to think about; he needs to think about thinking about living together, as a couple, without Annie, and how that would work. And he should think about how the vice dean keeps managing to make his way into their apartment- it's like the third time this month, and its awkward to tell the landlord they aren’t subletting, he just keeps getting in. 

He goes into the living room to see his maybe-going-to-be-fiance, curled in the blankets on their butter-stained floor. Abed looks up and Troy smiles tentatively. Abed smiles back and pats the spot beside him on the blanket. 

Troy thinks, like he often does, he wouldn’t mind cleaning butter everyday for the rest of his life.


End file.
